Showing posts with label artists. Show all posts
Showing posts with label artists. Show all posts

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Fear of Failure, or Success?

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." - Marianne Williamson

We are all afraid of failing at some point in our lives. Whether it is the fear of letting our loved ones down, or failing at getting a cake to rise, it comes up a lot. But what about the fear of success? Recently I was speaking with a friend about my personal fears around failure, and how it holds me back, sometimes, from trying. Now, don't get me wrong. I've done a lot, succeeded at a lot, and I am no shrinking violet. But once in a while, something is so important to me, a dream so big, that I am afraid that if I don't live up to the dream, it will be ruined forever.

My friend advised me that I am probably more afraid of success than failure. To which I heartily disagreed. Success would be lovely. But it did get me thinking - is success just as terrifying as failure? Do we really want to succeed, with all that success entails? Maybe meeting your dream partner means that you will lose your freedom and have to settle down. Maybe becoming a published author means that your thoughts and dreams will be open to criticism by others.

When have you ever been afraid of success?



Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Where Are the Magical Men?

Arthur Rackham illustration. 
Recently on the blog of Theodora Goss there has been a conversation going on about "magical men" -- men who partake in mythic art, writing, music, etc. Men who see the magical, fantastical aspects to life, and attempt to converse with us (the readers, the viewers) through creative mediums about them. More to the point, the conversation is about: where are these men?

Women who write, paint, carve, sing, or communicate in some other way about the mythic or enchanted realities of life are literally everywhere. But where are the men? Some fellows, like Charles de Lint, Charles Vess, Arthur Rackham, Neil Gaiman, and Brian Froud are indeed as magical as they come. But after a few minutes, it becomes harder and harder to think of more examples of magical men.

Is it because men are less likely to be interested in fantasy and art, or are magical men less loud and visible than their female counterparts? As Theodora says, maybe it is because women feel more social acceptance to setting up Etsy shops online, or blogging about poetry. This is true -- a lot of men I know paint in private, write in private, play music in private, but don't make much of a song and dance about it. Unfortunately.

Magical men do exist, and they are everywhere. But men are not like women, in many ways. They are quiet, often humble, often docile. They don't talk about their feelings as often, and are less likely to express their deepest intimacies. When they do, through art or writing, perhaps they are also less likely to share their creativity with the rest of the world?

Never mind the burden that men face in life. I know many female artists and writers, who are able to pursue their creativity more because of the money earned by their partners/husbands. How often is a man allowed the money, time and space (by his spouse or family or society) to pursue his art more full time? Often it's OK for women to be supported financially by their husbands so they can write a novel. How often is the reverse true? It happens, but not often enough.
Arthur Rackham illustration.

Men are raised to think they have to be everything -- they have to earn the money, support their families, become successful and prosperous. I know a lot of men who feel like failures if they can't buy the cars, the houses, the clothes that other men do.

Without question, from childhood, men know they have to support themselves financially, and possibly support a wife and children. More and more women are working full-time while raising children, but for men it is rarely a question, a choice, or an option. Men simply do not feel they have the option to not work.

If you are not working full-time and doing something respectfully difficult, you are a lay-about, lazy, a leech, and possibly a "bad provider".

Is it the fault of women that men do not take part in more art? 

No, the problem is that men have to listen to their own inner drive. If they want to do more art, be more creative, experience more magic, then the voice inside their gut has to become stronger than the voices in their head telling them to be responsible/reasonable/practical. Often those voices are not theirs in origin. Whose voice is it? A mother? A brother? A teacher? A line from an old movie watched 20 years ago?

And is it a voice that loves you? Really loves you?

Let's forget about "men" and "women" and talk about "people". As a person, do you deserve to do what makes you happy? What financial and emotional support do you need, as a person, to do what you want to do?

Arthur Rackham illustration.
As a man who writes, who paints, who believes in magic, I haven't survived and thrived by being more feminine, more sensitive, more airy-fairy if you will. I would say my gifts have been sheer determination, tenacity, and stubbornness. I wanted to prove them wrong -- the voices. The ones that tell me that I can't "pay the bills with poetry". And I did. Sort of.

And so do many other men I know. Men who publish poetry, have art exhibitions, write stories, talk about astrology, and believe in magic. It is an honor to know them.

At the end of the day, only a real man with guts can give himself permission to do something fantastical and beautiful and magical in this world.






Monday, May 23, 2011

Writers and Social Media

It is becoming more and more important for writers and artists to take an active role in the marketing aspect of their own careers. While many people might find this leap into the future challenging, I have always had one finger in the internet and its developments, so it seems like a natural path of progression. The internet is able to access so many people in such a small space of time. And it's free (most of the time).

Not to mention, I love the fact that I can receive messages and updates from my favorite authors, artists, editors, etc. They are not just disconnected entities existing somewhere, out there, who release a book every once in a while to tell the world that they are still alive. They are people - real people. While I am not so interested in what they ate for breakfast, it is great to feel connected to these people whose work touches, influences and inspires our lives.

Today on Writer Unboxed, guest blogger Crystal King is posting a delicious article about the benefits of joining LinkedIn (the professional network community) for writers. Its great, I love LinkedIn- and this article has helped inspire me to log back on, follow her advice and make it work for ME. Synchronizing it with things like FB and Blogger will help save time as well. Check out Crystal's blog post here

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